some step are harder than other

Today was good in the sense that doctor told us that they might remove the ventilator and her tubes tomorrrow we were so happy my sister and I but my mom was really discourage we could see it in the past day but today she was more awake than usually the discouragement was palpable. A few time she was looking us directly into our eyes and just stop breathing for a few second. My sister and I come to the conclusion that it was time we come clean with her and tell her that if she want to quite the fight it is ok we understand but if she keep fighting she have to do it for herself. My mom is always a quiter she is not a fighter, she get discourage a very little thing and this is a huge battle for her. She was reallyskinny before and now she is skinnier. When it was my time to talk to her I explain everything how she is the best mom and that I am not upset at her for the type of childhood I had and that if she want a go its ok becaused when we were asking her if she want to keep fighter she was doing no with her head. After all that I said well if you decide to fight for yourself tomorrow is the day they will remove the tubing in your mom you should have seen the smile she made I couldn't believe my eye she was laughting of joy and at that time she took all her strengh to bring her head where I was so I can kiss her. I felt better. Now I keep my finger cross so she can pass thru the night and that they remove all tubing in her mouth. I love you maman!!!!!